Why am I here?

When I sit and study and begin to stress out over my possible grade, I immediately begin to think "why am I here?" I think back to the days when I was employed and I have to say that there's more work involved in being a student then being an employee. I remember finishing my first semester, getting great grades and planning my next semester. Getting another step closer to my dream of being an RN. That was December 26, 2009 and that day I received a letter that my unemployment was running out so I said "That's it. The decision has been made for me. I have to go back to work." It was fun while it lasted. Maybe I can work and go to school part-time. It will take longer, but I have survived one semester. This was a day that will forever be emblazoned in my brain. Not because of the letter from UC, but how my evening ended.

After reading the letter I finished getting ready to head to the movies to see the movie Precious. Finally, it was here in a local theatre and despite the stress of having to hit the job market again, I was determined to enjoy the movie I'd been wanting to see. The movie was great. Some say it wasn't as good as the book, but since I hadn't read it, I enjoyed the movie.....well I enjoyed the acting in the movie. How can you enjoy a movie about the sad and horrific life Precious lead?

It was the day after Christmas and Airport Road seemed desserted. But the rain had let up by the time we left the theatre and it was only misting but visibility was low. As I was driving home past the entrance to the Airport, my husband asked, "Do you see that? Be careful." I had noticed something in the road and slowed down and as it all came into focus I realized that I was driving upon the scene of an accident. I drove as close as I could and threw the car into park, put my flashers on and yelled over to my husband to dial 911 as we both ran out of the car. I could hear my husband speaking to a dispatcher as he ran to one vehicle and I ran to the other. I don't want to get into the details of the accident . I only want to say that my actions were instinctual. I did what I hope someone else would have done for me or anyone in my family too.

As I walked away from the accident towards my car so many people came to me and asked if I was okay. They told me how amazing I was. That they'd never seen anyone "react" the way that I did. As I sat in my car, Airport Road was "alive" with paramedics, emergency vehicles and now many other drivers on their way somewhere, I watched as the police tried to redirect traffic so we could turn our vehicle around to leave the scene. The drive the rest of the way home was about 5-7 miles but seemed much longer. When I finally got home and into my home I was numb from the emotions that were bouncing around in my head. My husband held me and said "I don't care what that letter says. You follow your dream. You were meant to do this."

I met the family of the man who's hand I held, who's head and brow I rubbed and who I spoke to let him know he wasn't alone. They thanked me for being there with him when they couldn't be. They hugged me and told me their family has now been extended to include me. So on the days that I get frustrated and say "I just can't do this anymore," I remember Bill Weiss and I know that I absolutely can.